Notebook 5 September 1945 – April I 948

Only by a continual effort can I create. My tendency is to drift toward immobility. My deepest, surest inclination lies in silence and the daily routine. To escape relaxation,
the fascination of the mechanical, it took years of perseverance.
But I know that I stand erect through that very effort and that if I ceased to believe in it for a single moment I should roll over the precipice. This is how I avoid illness
and renunciation, raising my head with all my strength to breathe and to conquer. This is my way of despairing and this is my way of curing myself